Back in December, I was let go from my job for taking too much time off due to poor mental health. I wish I could say those days off were restorative and peaceful. They were actually quite difficult, debilitating, and depressing. I was constantly anxious because I knew my bosses weren't happy with me. I... Continue Reading →
This post could easily be super long, so I will try my best to be short and concise. This topic has been on my heart a lot recently, and as vulnerable as it is to share my experiences with splitting, I think it will help people, so here we go! According to the Encyclopedia of... Continue Reading →
It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post—a little over a year, actually. Yikes. I wanted to start this by thanking everyone who has reached out about my blog post, Borderline Personality Disorder and the Church. You can find it here if you’d like to read it: https://mentalstillness7.wordpress.com/2022/06/09/541/ The stories I’ve read have... Continue Reading →
You can’t understand me without understanding borderline personality disorder. I’m still wrestling with feeling like I don’t fit in and that I’m misunderstood. I don’t know anyone who can relate to me on the level I so deeply desire. I know of one other person with BPD, and they’re not even a Christian. I don’t... Continue Reading →
“There’s a light you don’t notice when you’re standing in the dark.” (Tauren Wells) I saw no light. I believed there was no light. I couldn’t even dream of the light. But here I am—in the light. Two years ago, I couldn’t see past the minute in front of me. I was tired of being... Continue Reading →
I'm hurt. Usually, I'd say I'm pissed, but my new therapist taught me anger is sad's bodyguard. I have found that statement to be true in almost every instance since hearing it. Anyway, I'm hurt. I thought switching to the first day of the week would reduce the cancellations. I must say, nothing beats calling... Continue Reading →
Endless wishes for massive improvements met with continuous blows of draining disappointments. Endless desires for softened hearts met with ravenous decisions that tear apart. Endless prayers for radical change met with every person going insane. Endless attempts to reach out met with tightly clenched fists. Endless seeking met with stagnancy. Endless breathing met with pain.... Continue Reading →
I know that there are people around me— I can feel their presence and their touch. I can hear their words and their laughter. I can see their eyes looking at me intently. I can smell their perfume and deodorant. But I can feel it creeping up on me again. I feel myself slipping into... Continue Reading →
The past year has been a whirlwind of emotions, decisions, tears, hugs, doctors, psychiatrists, counselors, medications, more tears, mental breakdowns, anger, cussing, and everything in between. But. There has been breakthrough beyond belief. There has been so much love––so many hugs, smiles, laughter, and redefining of love. There has been newfound support that I never... Continue Reading →
Mental Stillness 